A MODEST PROPOSAL FOR MUSK MARAUDERS
If you’re among those who, under ever-waving banners of "tolerance," "peace," and "love," find it necessary to blow up Tesla cars (or directly or indirectly celebrate the same, thank you too many Democrat politicians and commentators!) a modest proposal:
Since Thomas Edison—without whom you wouldn’t be reading this—held racial views that would make today’s moral crusaders recoil, and even undercut the contributions of Black inventor Lewis Latimer, then surely, in the name of consistency, his entire legacy must be erased.
FOR YOU, RIGHT NOW, THAT MEANS NO MORE:
- Electric lights – Candles and torches for you. (Which you already seem to be a bit too well acquainted with.)
- Power grids – Time to bid farewell to air conditioning, heating, and, well, modern civilization. Enjoy foraging.
- Recorded sound – No Spotify, no Apple Music, no TED Talks, no viral protest anthems. You’ll have to convey your outrage through interpretive dance.
- Movies – Netflix, Prime, Hulu, YouTube? Gone. Want to watch a film? Gather ‘round for shadow puppets on the cave wall.
- Microphones – No more megaphones, no rally speeches, no late-night TV rants. If you want to be heard, start yelling.
- Batteries – That iPhone you’re using to condemn historical figures on Twitter? Yeah, that has to go. Also, no more electric vehicles—ironically, the Teslas you keep blowing up.
- X-ray imaging – Broke a bone? Tough. Find a shaman or rub some essential oils on it.
BUT LET’S NOT STOP THERE. If you’re truly committed to your own standard, you can’t just reject electricity—you’ll need to reject everything tainted by imperfect men. So grab a club, head for the hills, and prepare to live your best pure, untainted, ideologically righteous existence.
PICTURE IT: You’re huddled in a damp cave, wrapped in animal skins (sorry, vegan friends, but synthetic fabrics require industrial processes invented by problematic people). Your only tools are rocks and sticks—because metal smelting? Yeah, that was pioneered by men with questionable morals. Your diet? Hope you like raw roots and berries, because agriculture is out—way too many oppressive hierarchies built into that system.
YOUR SOCIAL ACTIVISM? Well, you’ll have to yell your grievances into the void, since language itself was developed by flawed people who probably engaged in problematic power dynamics.
And as you sit there in the flickering glow of your ethically-sourced fire (which you lit by rubbing two sticks together—matches and lighters are off-limits), I have just one question:
IS THIS REALLY THE WORLD YOU WANT? Or is it time to climb down from the moral high horse and admit that civilization, for all its flaws, is still worth keeping the lights on?
AT SOME POINT, the insanity of it all has to register. Here is a man—Elon Musk—who has not only advanced society but has done so in ways that most of his loudest critics couldn’t dream of. He’s revolutionized space travel, making it possible for astronauts to return to space without relying on foreign governments. He’s provided free Starlink internet to war-torn Ukraine, ensuring that civilians and first responders could stay connected when their infrastructure was obliterated. He personally offered to build a submersible to save trapped boys in a flooded cave. He’s pioneered electric vehicles, battery storage, underground transit, AI, and alternative energy—all in an effort to push human civilization forward. And for this, people want to “cancel him”—because they can’t handle a tweet? Because they have been ideologically programmed to see an imperfect man, not as a flawed human being, but as a heretic to be destroyed?
THIS ISN’T ABOUT PROGRESS. It’s about a cult of destruction, where the only acceptable response to someone who doesn’t conform to the approved script is to burn it all down. They would rather see the world regress than admit that an imperfect man is still capable of extraordinary good. And that is the ultimate irony—those who scream the loudest about saving the world seem most determined to destroy anyone actually doing it.
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